The Blog of Korvon

Again... bored.

But you know what will brighten your day? Chuck Norris! I have been seeing on the web for the past little while all these "Chuck Norris Facts". There are some sayings that some person made up and its turned into a huge Chuck Norris cult following. You can go here to see them all in their glory... there are over 100 so I will give you a clip of a bunch of what I think are good ones.

- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

- Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

- Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

- Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

- Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

- When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

- Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

- Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

- One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

- Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

- Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

- Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

- Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

- We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Ok thats enough for now... there are lots more... if you have the time that is. :P

Posted by Korvon at March 1, 2006 08:26 PM